Supporting Cast 3

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BRIAN COUSINS

Deputy Headmaster for the Boys. Major, Army Reserves. Latin teacher. Scared us shitless, even after we got to know him. 1*2*

SUZIE RAFFERTY

An American girl. Daughter of family friends. Smitten with me. I have no idea why.

MISS RAMSBY

The girls PE teacher who always had a line of boys willing to carry the hockey sticks and other equipment back to the building. 1*

SPUD

Mr.Taylor, our French teacher. Disorganised, dishevelled, but a great person. He was also a great teacher. If you liked French. 1*

MR. LONGMAN

Our rugby teacher. He had a beautiful girlfriend, and he drove a Morgan. He was a star. 1*

ARSE-PICKER HORNSBY

Our head PE teacher, nicknamed after his obsession with “having a good root.” 1*2*

MR. O’FLYNN

Our school’s headmaster. A basically nice man who would always get Mr. Cousins to do his dirty work. He had about 100 children. 1*

ALAN O’NEILL

His farts violated The Biological Weapons Convention of 1972. 1*

WAYNE SIBTHORPE

One of the original Teds at our school. He was the real thing. A bad boy who drank Coca Cola mixed with aspirin, had a flick knife, and headbutted one of our teachers.

PISSER PARISH

Famous for two things: he had access to his older brother’s “dirty magazines” and, most importantly, he would usually piss himself when he laughed.

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